“Watch out kid, this thing handles like a drunken bantha.” -Han Solo, to Luke Skywalker while piloting an AT-AT
Fortunately, AT-AT transportation technology has advanced quite a bit since those days a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away when they were terrifying symbols of the Galactic Empire’s military might and evilness. Now, Wells + Associates is using them to get a leg up in the Big Green Commute.
“When we realized how far the technology had come since those days, and how they would fit perfectly into our corporate vanpool system, I said, ‘I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more AT-ATs,” stated W+A CEO Terence J. Miller, a veteran traffic engineer who’s always interested in new transportation solutions, even if we chose a model without the chin-mounted heavy laser cannons.
“I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more AT-ATs.” – Wells + Associates CEO Terry Miller
One ever-present goal in our transportation planning and TDM work is to reduce reliance on the single-occupancy vehicle. Even so, our engineers were a bit concerned about the AT-AT’s perceived structural limitations (aka, safety). All those AT-ATs collapsing with the help of X-Wing starfighter harpoons and tow cables just sent chills up our engineers’ spines.
The clincher? As transportation engineer John Cavan, put it, “When we learned that these beasts were no longer manufactured at the Kuat Drive Yards, we thought – ‘Hey, maybe we’ve got a vanpool or corporate shuttle solution on our hands.’”
No, AT-ATs aren’t the fastest, but when our transportation planners are wrestling with “first mile last mile” issues, it’s not always about speed. It’s about traversing a short distance to make it to the office. As Sai explained, “When it’s pouring rain and I get off at the Metro station and I need six more minutes to finish my audio book, you’d better be sure I’m getting on our Tysons office AT-AT, especially since it’s wifi enabled.”
What does our Big Green Commute competition think about our AT-ATs? Well, just the other day we overheard a couple guys talking about our new beasts, and they sounded almost exactly like Thane Kyrell and Yendor, just before the Battle of Hoth, way in the past: “…so what you’re saying is that you have a thorough knowledge of just how screwed we are.”
Our 2017 Big Green Commute Transportation Strategy
Day 1: Beam Us Up Scotty: New Star Trek Transporter Room at W+A
Day 2: W+A’s Latest Rideshare Technology: Straight from Star Wars’ Galactic Empire
Day 3: Watch Out Wizarding World: W+A Joins the Floo Transportation Network
Day 4: Carpooling Middle-Earth Style: Radagast’s Retooled Rabbit Sled
Day 5: Back to the Stone Age: W+A’s “New” Flintstone Transportation Solution